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Other beings: the sleep divorce

People sleep worse sharing a bed. Separate sheets are the realistic fix.

The data are clear enough: objectively measured sleep is often worse in a shared bed even when people feel they sleep better together — sleep is dyadic. A full sleep divorce isn't realistic for most, so change the setup: separate sheets or duvets so one partner's movement doesn't roll the other; a pillow barrier; earplugs; and if you're really struggling, a partial sleep divorce some nights.

It's individual: one study found young couples got more REM co-sleeping. Which is exactly why you tag partner-disturbed nights and test it.

Sources · 3

It's more than sexTroxel WM · 2010Sleep is dyadic: partners' movements, schedules and conflict measurably shape each other's sleep.Two in a bedRichter K, Adam S, Geiss L, Peter L, Niklewski G · 2016Objective sleep is often worse when sharing a bed, though subjective satisfaction can be higher — hence the 'partial sleep divorce'.Bed-sharing in couples is associated with increased and stabilized REM sleep and…Drews HJ, Wallot S, Brysch P, et al. · 2020Counterpoint: in young couples, co-sleeping increased REM — the effect of a partner is individual; test it.

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Partner, travel & environment

Frequently asked questions

Other beings: the sleep divorce?

People sleep worse sharing a bed. Separate sheets are the realistic fix.

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No. SleepShred Pro is $4.99 per month or $29.99 per year, with no free trial and no ads. Everything stays on your iPhone.

Track it, don't guess it

SleepShred turns this research into a 20-second daily habit: log your night, see which of your own behaviours move your sleep, and screen for the disorders nobody diagnoses.

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Educational summary of published research, not medical advice. Screening scores are not diagnoses. If a score is elevated or you feel unwell, talk to a clinician.